


It's not so easy to wish you well and let you go

by twoheartsx



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Cigarettes, Depression, Drinking to Cope, F/M, First Love, Leorio is a good guy, M/M, Mention of loss of virginity, Past Relationship(s), Sad, Sad Ending, feeling useless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-02
Updated: 2016-03-02
Packaged: 2018-05-24 09:47:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6149605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twoheartsx/pseuds/twoheartsx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'll smile and say I understand and I do, but that don't mean I don't think about you." </p>
<p>Leorio was a good man and so he would let Kurapika go. Even if it hurt him forever. Kurapika's happiness meant so much more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's not so easy to wish you well and let you go

**Author's Note:**

> So, my Killua wanted a Melody x Kurapika fic and so I made this. I hope you guys enjoy and if I forgot anything let me know.

It was a slow burn. The dim light of the candles and moon. The city lights creating an atmosphere that only adds pressing emotions to the situation. Leorio sits on his couch, watching Kurapika light a cigarette. The blond exhaled, smoke spilling from between his chapped and bruised lips. The dark circles under his eyes write out a story of where he's been. Leorio makes no move to get closer and he says nothing. He knows the blond won't talk, he never does. Kurapika is a mask of secrets. He's darkness and Leorio wants to swallow him whole. He wants to suck away at that darkness in Kurapika's head. He wants to take it on, all that pain and suffering. He wishes he could, but he knows wishes don't come to him so easily. The blond has too much burden and Leorio is useless. He knows this far too well.

"You don't care do you?" Leorio asks. Kurapika looks Leorio and frowns. The words taste bitter and the minute they leave his mouth Leorio regrets it. Kurapika puts out his cigarette and stands up. The look on his face tells Leorio that he went too far. He said too much. The blond Kurta walks off, getting ready to leave. Leorio rubs his forehead and sighs. He knows that once again he blew something good. The door closing behind Kurapika is a heavy sound and it weighs on Leorio's heart like a ton of bricks.

Leorio sees the way Melody makes Kurapika smile. The way the blond's attitude changes when she's around. The way she helps more then Leorio ever could. Because she's helpful, she's useful. Because she's the person who will fix Kurapika and no amount of silent wish that it was him instead with change that. He can't be the one who makes Kurapika happy. He can't be anything to anyone. The harsh reality of this leaves deep cuts in his heart and so Leorio smiles and pretends it's okay. Because Kurapika deserves happiness and he deserves someone who can help him. Someone who can do what Leorio never could. Someone who could be all that Leorio couldn't be.

Leorio closes his eyes, the burn of the alcohol as it goes down serving as a reminder of what he was. Useless. He had to drink just to deal with the ache in his chest he got when he thought of his sunshine, shine for someone else. Memories of them fill his mind and the alcohol makes it seem more real. Leorio is thankful for this. Memories of the exam, of helping Gon save Killua from his family. Leorio remembers being stuck alone in a room with Kurapika. Both of them young and inexperienced as they give into those basic human instincts. The sound of Kurapika crying out his name rings in Leorio's ears and that alone is enough to bring him to tears. Because he was Kurapika's first, but he wouldn't be his last. He would no longer hear the sound of Kurapika calling his name in a moment of passion. He wouldn't feel the soft skin under his finger tips. The press of the smaller boy's body and God that soft sounds he made. Leorio wouldn't hear any of that, wouldn't feel it. Instead he'd spend nights alone, he'd spend them with people who didn't fill the void because they weren't Kurapika. They didn't have his heart like the blond kurta did. Leorio buries his face in his hands, tears streaming down his face.

"Why did my sunshine go away?"


End file.
